Well, I saw this assignment over at mamakatslosinit and thought it might be fun so I signed up. The object is that Kat will give a topic and you have to base your blog (on Wednesdays) on that particular topic. So here goes -I chose the topic... "I wish I could..."
As soon as I saw it, I knew this was what I wanted to write about. But then I started feeling guilty, or ashamed, so maybe I should write about the other, and then I changed my mind. Then I thought, "is there really any guilt to be awarded?" Then I thought "Well of course there is, how could you wish for anything different than what you have? I have 2 awesome sons, I have a wonderful marriage (married or not, we've been together for 11 years now) with 2 wonderful step-sons. My life is pretty decent, who could complain, right?
I wish I could ...
Be a housewife.
Yes, you read correctly. I want to quit my job and be a housewife. That's it. I mean geez, I've been working since I was 17 years old, I'm 37 now, that's 20 years! Don't you get to retire after 20 years of working? I thought that's how it went. So how come I'm still working?
My 2 boys don't live with me anymore (a couple of years ago, they decided they wanted to go live with their Dad). I'm okay with that now. Afterall, I knew it was coming. I was somewhat prepared. They are safe, comfortable and seemingly happy. I can't beg them to come home. I have to accept it. They are where they want to be....for now.
So here I am, with my husband (whom I adore) and his 2 boys (who coincidently decided that they wanted to move in with thier Dad (my adorable husband) at the same time that my boys decided they wanted to go live with their Dad) so I'm still fulfilling the role of Mom...it's just not the same though. Here's where I feel guilty. Is it okay for me to say to my husband "I'm tired, I don't want to work anymore, you take over.? Is that so wrong? I just want to stay home and keep my house clean. I want to sweep up dust bunnies, and hang sheets out on the line. I want to cook all our meals, I want to have the laundry done (well mine at least, everyone here does thier own laundry), I want to sew and quilt and garden and craft, is that too much to ask? Really?
There have been so many times when I've felt like just quitting. I really hate going to work. My patience isn't what it used to be, that's for sure. I really dread having to deal with other people now, and when I say other people, I'm referring to co-workers and clients. Get this, someone ate my frozen breakfast croissants. Yea, took them right out of the freezer and ATE THEM! What kind of crap is that? Who does that, eats other people's food like that? Now I have to go buy something to eat today which totally goes against my efforts to spend less.
I hate fighting traffic on a daily basis, it really makes. me. crazy. Like this morning, I was freaking out because the morning rush hour traffic was worse than usual and my car kept acting like it was going to over heat. If my car had actually over heated, I'd have been stuck on the side of the road trying to find someone to rescue me (Sparky is out of town this week so he can't be my hero this time), at the same time I'd surely have a nervous breakdown because there are freaks and wierdos out there that would just love the opportunity to snatch up a helpless little thing like me. If I were home being a good housewife, doing housewife things, I wouldn't have to deal with these kinds of situations. Now I have to make it home today. Please car, please don't over heat. Please traffic, please be nice today.
Coming home and announcing that I have retired... priceless! Do you think I'm being selfish or lazy in my wanting of this? Cuz I can see how some people might see it that way. I, myself don't see it that way though. I see it as a changing of careers! And so what if we have less income. I don't need a lot, I just want to be able to pay my bills and buy groceries, that's all. And be a good little house wife.
Well, there's my assignment, I hope you enjoyed it.
Now could someone please tell me how I can find free, cool blog layouts so that I can change mine?
Thanks and have a super day!
- ▼ August (13)